The big you
September 27, 2009
I read a book several years back about people who hurt themselves. You know, cuts and bruises and whatnot. The author said it was an issue of self definition. Children that aren't touched much as babies have a hard time knowing where they end and the rest of the world begins. And so they experiment. Each scar is the mark of a sensation yelling "This is me, this is where I start!" Each bruise an exploration, a definition, a piece of an identity.
Maybe the whole you is a big, big thing like a weather system.
When it's been a week since you've had a fresh razor and the laundry basket's overflowing with all those clothes crumpled up just like yesterday's plans. When you're looking for a plate again, wiping a fork clean on the back of your hand.
When there's unopened mail on the floor and two full trash bags by the door.
When you can't sleep and you hurt your girl because you can. When your work suffers and your friendships dry up just like the plants in your windows.
I don't know, I guess. Maybe we don't all fit so snug in our skin.
Tags for this piece: goals depression strange relationships weather